4 Things You Can Never, Ever Say to Your In-Laws
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Ever feel like you have to walk on egg-shells when it comes to talking to your in-laws? If so, join a very uncomfortable and large club. So, it is critical to choose your words carefully with your in-laws.
Early impressions are so powerful, and can have deep and lasting impact, that’s why it is so important to attend to, and really get to understand, the nature and dynamic of the family you are marrying into. The more you understand the culture of the family, the less likely you are to make a verbal mis-step that may be misconstrued and poison future interactions.
But even without that deep understanding of your newfound family, you can avoid spoken land-mines. Here are five things you should never, ever say to your in-laws:
1. “That’s not how we do it in my family.”
The way your in-laws host the holidays or even organize their home may seem odd to you. But pointing out your differences will only alienate your new family.
2. “We’ll be doing things a little differently around here from now on.”
Even worse than challenging how your in-laws do things is all-but-saying they do it wrong — and how you intend to fix it. It suggests you may be taking over some element of the family or tradition, without much flexibility, instead of assimilating and cooperating.
3. “You’ve raised him so well, but I’ll take it from here.”
This veiled compliment packs a real whammy. Though initially this type of statement may seem flattering, some prospective in-laws can felt threatened by it, as if they will no longer play the same significant role in their child’s life.
4. “He needs work, but he will do.”
Sounds like something no one would ever say? Think again.
It’s smart to steer clear of any talk about money, religion and politics. Over time, of course, you can let your views be made known, but if you are overbearing on any of these subjects early on, you may be suggesting the idea that you are going to be difficult or preachy.